My beautiful pristine Germanic vampiric like skin has been destroyed by my need to talk to women outside of pubs. I have the skin colour of a Welshman but at least I haven't picked up their taste in women, yet
So @graf it is Chewsday, innit. Time to poast tunes, We are both women haters well this is summat I used to listen to remind how evil women were when I was young.
I hope you are all enjoying your night, friends. I'm going to have a few bottles of Ale and maybe go off on Lister for poasting cringe horny poasts again. I hope you are all getting pissed tonight friends tiss the weather for it.
I have just spoken to a bloke I used know irl for an hour on the phone. Zoomer men are so fucked up. He is big mad he has met a nice woman and she great but she as a 5yr old kid (White) and he is upset she didn't tell him straight away as she being a good Mother didn't want to tell him until she knew he was okay to be trusted. He was really mad she is on good terms with the father of the child too and was seething she wasn't some kissless virgin at 26. So he breaking it off with her
I have just got in not long ago. it was a good day and night I have calmed down and feel like myself again. Drinking and womanising are cure for most problems. I hope you all had a great day my most beloved friends
I fucking hate autocorrect it should be gassed. One of the worst things about getting wasted is waking to realise half my poasts were fucking altered by spellcheck
The Dannostate has fallen. I one of the old Queen Mum's most beloved subjects. A man who should be King and has the noblest of all blood am drinking Carling Black Fucking Label like some 80s era football hooligan
I discovered something dreadful today. Them Tesla S are pretty fucking fast one tried undertake me while I was happily making my niece sing Depeche Mode No good with me. I had to go on hi boost to stop it going past me and had drive like a prick. But once he had a load of smoke in his face from my knackered turbo he had to slow down 😤
Well, that was day. I got completely hammered last night as was on edge about getting remanded in prison what made it worse I found out Jeremy Kyle isn't on TV anymore and watching that was always part of my morning prison routine.
So, the pigs knocked on first thing but I decided finish me drink and have a shower and ignore them a bit. I passed out in the shower for hours completely wasted. Got up with killer hangover in a right state. The pigs came back at tea time and took me in me for an interview. Had wait for fucking hours in the pig station for a bloody duty solicitor turn up. I got wait for The Crown Prosecution Service get back in touch now to see if they going take me court on this. The solicitor reckons I might be ok due to mitigating factors. I think the real reason they didn't remand me is I kept bitching that I can't go prison I have an appointment have my hair done on Saturday.
btw I did make a scheduled poast for this afternoon saying I love you all and shit but I was so fucked I just posted a bottle of Ale without any text like a boomer.
Also, I would still chin that fucking twat again if I could turn back time tbh and I will be finding out over the next few days if that dog is his.
Thanks, friends, love you all and appreciate you. I will keep you in the loop but it will probably be a week or two. Now I'm just going crack an ale and chill
Well, there we go I just had a knock on the door I will drink my ale, power off my PC in a min lock it down and wait for the pigs to come back. Let's get this over and done with. I will see you all soon. Brother Graf keep Queen Mum poasting while I'm away. Love you all I may be back in a few hours or months. Just remember they just can't keep a good Dan down, innit
So, I as the most prominent Brit on Poast and Fedi shall kick off this annual Queen Mum Day/weekend with this ale I bought especially for this weekend. I shall toast to my good friend @graf for always being a good Anglo. I expect all of you to get pissed up fight and toast this weekend to the old Queen Mum's health
@graf@yockeypuck@eriner@cbrooklyn112@matty Good Morning, Brother Graf. It's fucking piss down here I'm going the farm shop in a min buy some dinner. Please have a good day, mate
@Frank_O_Pinon This is what I drank yesterday. I still have a couple left though. I shall stop drinking after this weekend and dry out for a few months I do this semi regular.
@Frank_O_Pinon I have to keep my boozing under control or I will be proper fat Norf FC type in no time. I do enjoy drinking but I'm an all or nothing type guy and get carried away
@Myshkin It's a loverly day today the sun is out and I saw a few nice women in spring attire in the park while walking the dog. It's insane I don't know what is going on with me of late I'm so sentimental
@6gorillanbarsofjewsoap I had so many 205 GTIs when I was young the alternators were always going and the headlights would always randomly drop out lol
