i ended up finally leaving a troon-infested h-game server
it's always another day that ends in y where some member of the server is acting up
they're always so tired and surprised that one of their kin calls the game "lolipedo shit" or whine about not having a "trans" section in the porn categories
they're aware of how obnoxious the type of people they are, quite literally because they have to deal with their own bullshit, but they can't see it in themselves
it's a shame i even spent a year drawing everyone's character there
it was for the happiness of those who don't know how to be happy without it being spoonfed to them
@ninja8tyu Ah. Yeah, I left that server for the reason that the developer was starting to throw his original audience under the bus. :reimu_sigh:
It's sad too because there is an extremely small amount of hentai games like that out there.
@ninja8tyu Also, didn't the dev or some people close to him try to say that the characters were 18 or older? Which makes no sense because if that was the case, why does the player character still go to school, live in an orphanage and need a fake ID to get into certain places?
i draw some of the best shit i've made, but i don't really feel proud, even though it's better
i do hundreds of reps worth of exercises, but i don't feel accomplished, even though it shows on my body
i make videos, playing games i never had the chance to finish as a kid, and i do, but they're not fun at all more than they are puzzles for the sake of them
i've argued a little more again, but considering i already know where they all end even with the best moves, i don't feel much toward conflict
i guess i have fans and some friends, but i don't feel like i can connect to anyone at a deeper or meaningful level
i'm beginning to notice that the seasonings and amount i add to my food doesn't change their somewhat lack of taste more than it does prevent it from tasting worse
being mischievous and bratty doesn't really feel nice when i know people see it as obnoxious and annoying
being honest and caring means nothing if people misunderstand, doubt, and don't care about anything you be and do
being cruel and sadistic does nothing because you can't kill the fact the world will always be the same, no matter how many corpses you line the road with
i feel like there's no variation i can play in life that would change it to be worthwhile
everything has been lived in this life, or what has been worth living
i can keep playing, but there's nothing special; it's just the motions of life
@ninja8tyu It's the price of the ticket, existing isn't easy. You gotta have some more faith in yourself, your art is improving, you're getting in shape, and the fact you can at least gleam the rough edges of acting certain ways means you're socially conscious enough to not cause yourself too much trouble. Just gotta hold on, the void will pass eventually, all you gotta do is hold onto the belief that it will. Generally when I feel like that I go out of my way to break the chain of my normal day, go do something off the beaten path. It helps a little, helps give myself an inkling of the feeling of self control.
after trying to analyze how doctors understand and go about things, i understand how to basically self-diagnose properly
it's basically the IT version of biology; at the fundamental core of it all, it's an issue with your body
"have you been drinking well?" or "what have you been eating?" are the IT equivalents of "have you tried turning it off and on again?"
people fucking up a health self-diagnosis is like a boomer on the computer saying "do i have a virus?" when anything acts up
only odd difference is that you can look up a good article on troubleshooting a computer issue, but any article on your body says you have cancer hyperstroke tension muscular degradation