18+ oddtail, 4 months ago

I'm not the first person to suggest it, although I've always seen it framed as more of a joke.

We should have safewords for non sexual interactions. Not just with sexual or romantic partners, either. Any friend we trust.

Sometimes we realise either we or the other person is having emotions they can't handle. Sometimes there's too much emotion or tension or conflict to explain before it's too late. Sometimes people don't notice and don't think. As an autistic person, my talking has... inertia. Like a freight train. I find it hard to suddenly stop a train of thought (pun fully intended) and almost impossible to stop mid sentence.

Imagine there was a safeword I, or the other person, could use to signal to the other person "stop. You need to. You can try to pry as to why later".

ttRPGs already use basically safeword for conversations, it's called the "X card". Look it up, but tldr: if you can't handle a game or narration element, you use the card and things stop, reset and proceed without that element.

You are allowed to elaborate what you have a problem with and why, but the social contract is explicitly that others are not allowed to pry or question your use of the X card. It's to ensure no judgment of using it, and giving one confidence there will be no judgment BEFORE one uses it. So that anyone can use it freely.

Imagine that for talking to close friends.