you know, i remembered a reason why i fell in love with anime
when it came to western shows, it was always the stereotypical depictions of things
nerds were weird as fuck, jocks were strong and brash but retarded, teachers didn't care about teaching more than they did cheating and test scores...
you rarely often see a nerd with good looks and who was cool, a jock who was respectful and like a gentle giant, teachers with such passion for teaching and passing down the legacy of knowledge humanity as cultivated...
something that's more prominent with anime
which turns bland in a way, because it's always stories about how the most bland person in existence can get laid with 50 different women
y'know, i think the wound on my leg is kinda getting more and more fucked up
should i post pics to share how nasty it's gotten? i'd see a doctor, but i don't see the point in managing my transport and times to get it done and dusted
kinda fucked up as well after watching the dream video to already be aware that there's at least 2 people i interact with in what feels like a parasocial way
not because i intended to, but honestly, i just treat them like strangers, any other person, not like fans who i just brush off, and even though there's only been maybe 7 people at max who frequented my videos despite my large sub count, maybe that was me inadvertently allowing them to step past a line that others normally drew in very bright and visible colors
but i'm also not the type of person who wants to just call it quits and shut them out right now unless some dumb shit like the stone skiddies happens
yeah, but honestly i don't want to be the one who has to tell him he's behaving disturbingly, because i'm the last person who gets to say that
i remember when i was on tenma's streams making shitty sex jokes and asking her for her to spit on me obnoxiously before i was banned
now this guy comes in and bothers me begging for smooches and gay femboy nude pics on onlyfans
allegedly according to him, he's done similar to pippa and tenma, and he thinks i'm the male version of pippa, but that's slightly irrelevant
he's done the same to both of them because he finds their embarrassment entertaining, not unlike what i've done
if there is a god, the old bastard sent this guy straight to me after my little acts of terror toward phase connect, and the day i see god is the day i kick him in his holy cock and balls with the force of a sledgehammer
the moment he sent me a fuckin' pornhub vid of some "femboy riding a dildo" directly into my dms was the moment all the fuckin' vc moments of him wanting to meet me in person started to become more serious rather than shitty crude jokes
often said something about how you can really only make trustworthy friends with those you meet in person
now, i wouldn't know how to describe why it's off, why it's weird, why it's off-putting and kinda fucked up to send that shit to me in any way with details...
...but i've been pretty goddamn overt with my love of lolis and cunny, and i don't believe for a single fucking moment of my life have i ever implied in any sort of way i'm gay, especially to fucking 3D shit, where i'd in any way, shape, or form, like being sent gay porn
exactly at what point of internet fame, measured in subscribers/followers/average view count/whatever you want, does creepy internet stalkers become a viable concern
say like, above 15% for any person that comes and talks to you has a chance of being that guy and their target is you is the point i'd consider "maybe something to worry about"
it really doesn't help that everytime this guy's begged for a vc, it's been one-sided as fuck where i just fucking ramble about shit until he falls asleep, and he's always trying to push me to find a method of transport and to meet-up in real life
also allegedly claims to have a girlfriend, yet lusts after me, and also a boyfriend who would be jealous if they found out this guy and i were together
and i decided to watch this weird ass meme video he sent after i woke up, which is just a shitty song that's like "i gave you my heart" and "i was just a shoulder to cry on"
maybe i'm the type of guy who pushes away people who would be friends because i become very overly critical of their behaviors, but i genuinely don't believe at any point in my life have i ever done that to someone who didn't deserve it
especially when this entire time, i looked at every red flag and went, "nah he's probably just weird, i'll still lend 'em an ear"
another fucking pet peeve was when i talked about my pixiv getting banned for possibly the ai dogshit art i generated (literally so bad, it's funny), and he went like "yeah they use real cp as reference, no wonder your account got banned"
when that wasn't what i fucking said at all? that what i uploaded that was ai art looked like something or someone in chernobyl survived and lived for 10 years in the radiation because it was fucking funny?
and also, he seemed completely fuckin' fine with the fact that he basically just went in presuming i generated illegal shit with illegal means, as in AI-CSEM with whatever ai tools might have been using them as reference?
as weird and retarded as i am, i strive to change for the better, not choosing to stay in this weird fucking pit of degeneracy of wanting to lust over me
not fucking "wolfy," because he's been asking for irl pics of me on onlyfans, and clearly after sending me a ph video of a guy using a dildo to please himself, i highly doubt my design of my character is what's turning him on more than
i treated this guy's weird fucking antics as a joke, because every fucking vtuber has that one weirdly lustful viewer or several
but holy crap, every single fucking time this guy speaks within my vicinity, it's always fucking "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC," "VC"
and whether it's in my chat, server, or in VC, it's always "gimme a kiss" and other shit like that
there's a strange lack of variety and i both find it boring and annoying, and if any change was present, it was in intensity rather than in range, because again, i have to beg the question of when did i ever say i was interested in gay porn?
a fucking shitpost contrasting a bull and a wolf with a cow and puppy, then a fucker named "POSITIVITYman" comes in with the most vile shit they could to spew at a person's daughter
and i couldn't help but think to myself, i wouldn't want to buy such items, ever, because i'd have no utility for them
most people would buy them for the collection and stuff (others might find more fascinating uses, such as in-tandem with a glass jar), but personally, it's not worth the money to buy it, unless i happened to want to study the craftsmanship of it if i wanted to make my own
i imagined myself spending money on a figure if it hid a shank or had hidden storage compartments or built-in weapons or tools though